Thankful has a new meaning...

I have never been so glad for a day to have come and gone. Today was a big day for me. I have been waiting for 12 days to find out the results of a biopsy. On January 4, I had outpatient surgery to have over 3 inches of my flesh removed and sent off to be biopsied.  The past 18 days, including the 6 days prior to surgery, have been filled with fear, anxiety and flat out panic attacks. Not anything I would wish on anyone.

As a mother, my mind began going to the worst possible places. I know it might not be the "Christian" thing to do, worry, but it is human nature and I am human. I know that God doesn't want any of His creation to suffer, but I also know that pain and suffering are a part of life. I know that no matter what challenges or heartaches come my way, my God is big enough to handle them and carry me through them. I also know that cancer has no boundaries. All four of my grandparents battled cancer. Only one is living. Cancer is real. I see people every day fighting the battle. Some are family, friends, church members and friends of friends. Even though my faith is strong, I have dealt with fear, anxiety and uncertainty the past month, since my inital doctors appointment. I began to wonder how my children would manage without me. So many things crossed my mind. And what about Tim? They all need me. Children need a mother's love and touch. A husband needs his soulmate, helpmate and encourager, especially a minister. I bought journals to begin for my children. I began thinking of what needed to be done in the event of a bad result. Now, some of you may be thinking I sound OCD about my results, and well you might be right. But these are things that should be done anyway. I am not promised tomorrow. None of us are. I want my children to have something to read one day--quotes, funny stories, my love for them and hopefully wise instruction. If my true heart be known, I asked that I live to see my children accept Him as Lord and Savior and allow me time just to raise them. Yesterday, I couldn't have been happier. John Alan trusted God with his life and made a commitment to follow him. Suddenly, my biopsy results seemed less important.

I am not afraid of death itself. Sure, if I am being honest, there are lots of things I don't know and don't understand about eternity, but I don't have to. God has that covered. I have nothing to fear. I am His daughter. I began to submerge myself in the Psalms and God's spirit gently reminded me of His presence and His power. This experience has made me look at life differently, people differently and faith differently. I have been in a place, if but only for a moment, that I can relate to how others are feeling when faced with cancer. I  have countless friends battling cancer. I now know some of their thoughts and fears on a real level. But I also know how in the midst of that uncertainty, God meets you on a whole different level in our walk with Him. I am grateful for His love. Perfect love. Perfect peace. Perfect grace. Thankful has never meant quite as much to me as it does now. God has taught me a lot in a month. I am thankful for my Father, for the hope I have in Him. For the blessings He has so generously bestowed upon me. I am thankful for good news today. And in the midst of my happiness, I am still praying without ceasing for my friends and loved ones who are battling cancer on a daily basis. May they feel His presence and perfect peace with each new dawn.

For You, I'd Wait Till Kingdom Come

Matthew 25:35-46 ^" For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'  "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'  "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'  "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'  "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'  "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Today, I want to talk about bringing God's kingdom to earth. What do you think that looks like? Who do you think it's for? To me, God's kingdom is beautiful--everyone has what they need. There are none who long for food to eat. The homeless have a bed to rest in at night. The poor have clothes to keep them warm. The fatherless have fathers. The abused have restoration and unconditional love. The sick and afflicted have complete healing. The outcast have acceptance. The insecure are confident. The orphaned have new families. Sorrow is replaced with joy. Tears are replaced with smiles. That's what a little bit of heaven looks like to me.

So, who is it for? The rich? The educated? The handsome and drop dead gorgeous? Nope. It's for everyone. It's for the poorest of poor, for the one who never attended school or college, the one who was made fun of for not being beautiful. It's for all. God sent His son to die for everyone, not just a few. God doesn't play favorites. He loves us all. He created us and did so in His image. So how do we bring God's kingdom to earth? We develop a passion for what's important to God and we do it with no strings attached.  We feed the hungry and clothe the naked without making them fill out a questionnaire. We don't play "judge" and try to determine who gets a free meal or a jacket to keep warm. From the opening scripture above, God tells us that whatever we do for the least of these, we do to Him. He didn't say for us to stop and decide if someone is worthy of benevolence, He said to do it. When Jesus took the fish and loaves of bread from a boy to feed thousands of people, He didn't tell the disciples to go and find out who really needed food. He told them to feed the people. They were hungry. Part of growing in Christ and becoming spiritually mature is automatically doing things that Christ instructed us to do without thinking about it. It becomes part of our nature. It becomes natural to us. We see a need and we respond to it. We become "missional" in our everyday lives. We want to bring God's kingdom to others around us.

One of greatest concerns in the church today is that its members are missing the mark. They don't understand and they don't grasp what God's kingdom is or how to bring it about. They are more concerned with what can the church do for them, rather than what they can do for those coming in the doors. They want certain events, services, music, etc. They lack the vision to do the will of God. They lack to initiative to step up and serve. They aren't bad people, they are good people with good hearts, but they have been taught incorrectly in the past and they have been misguided. No doubt that ministry for years has been less than perfect in its teachings. I'm not the best person to speak on this matter, but I do know that just in the past 40 years or so, hate was taught from the pulpit. You couldn't be a good Christian unless you belonged to the KKK. I wonder if these haters knew Jesus wasn't a white man. He was a Jewish carpenter. He was dark-skinned, not pearly white. Today, hate still thrives in the pulpit with attacks on certain groups of people, on those who have made bad decisions and so on. Demonstrations are held in public to protest against something and abortion clinics are bombed in the name of God. Odd how the God I serve didn't do any of those things. As with the woman caught in adultery, Jesus simply said, "You who are without sin, cast the first stone." That's the Jesus I fell in love with. A radical. He showed the woman love and forgiveness and told her to go and sin no more. That's the example we are to follow. Jesus was people-centered, not self-centered. He came to serve, not be served. He came to share love, mercy, compassion and forgiveness.

Bringing God's kingdom means getting involved, not sitting on the sidelines telling everyone else what needs to be done. You have a shepherd, the pastor, to lead. God has given you a shepherd to lead you and point you in the right direction, so step up and serve. One or two people can't do it all. God's kingdom is big and it requires lots of workers. I grow weary of hearing people say that they have served their time years ago, or that they served when their children were little or they aren't gifted as teachers and so on. God didn't say you could take a break. Jesus never took a break in His ministry--not until He died.on the cross. Jesus's disciples were fisherman, tax collectors and so on. They probably didn't think they were gifted teachers, but they followed and they gave willingly. Read God's word, really read it. See what God is saying and notice what Jesus was doing. That's how we are to live. I have a passion for God's creation--humanity. I want everyone to know of His love. I will not sit on the sidelines and watch.  I will not judge others or try to determine who really needs what, I will give to the "least of these". I will not cast stones at others because I am not without sin. I will serve and I will always be in action until His kingdom comes for all mankind. I long for the beauty of His kingdom.

Oh, how I love sewing!

Many years ago, my grandmother, MamaTean, taught me how to sew. She was an amazing seamstress and was very meticulous with her work. Growing up she made clothes for my mom, my sister and me. She could make anything from doll clothes to curtains to slipcovers. Everything she did, she did well. I can remember being fascinated as I watched her sit down at her sewing machine and work. One night while visiting her, she made a pattern for a shirt out of newsprint for me to make my first shirt for my cabbage patch doll. I was so excited. As I got older she began tutoring me on how to sew. I made skirts, dresses, vests, and so on. She taught me well and if I did something slightly wrong I had to pick it all apart and start over. When I got married I began sewing a little again, not much, but I wanted to start again. I took up smocking and assembling the gowns I had smocked. Then I began doing little things like stuffed animals, hats, mittens, etc. When child number 2 came along I didn't sew very much until I decided I wanted to make her Easter dress. A very dear friend, church member and neighbor guided me and helped me as I had chosen the most complicated pattern available! I am not intimated at all, so I dove in. I then began making purses, skirts, pants for gifts, my daughter and myself. It is so much fun and for me it is a relaxing time. I hope to upload my projects and let you see them. I think it is good and healthy for everyone to have something that they can do by themselves to give them leisure time, use their creativity and have time to think in silence. As a minister's wife, I need an outlet that I can enjoy and just have as down time. This is my outlet-sewing. I love arts and crafts and I have my hand in a little bit of everything. Find something you enjoy and try it. Don't be scared or think you aren't creative. Dive in and have fun! Make it yours and be proud of to use the gifts and talents God has given you.

I'll Go Where He Leads

When Tim and I met I knew he was going into the ministry. I think as a minister's wife, you feel that calling too from the Lord. You have to have your heart in it or it will be a long and miserable road for you. Now, I grew up in a small town and was close to my family. I never, ever thought as a child that I would leave my hometown. Naturally, as a daddy's girl, I thought I would grow up and live with my family. What little girl wants to leave her daddy? Well, time changed all of that as I grew up and fell in love. However, I still was unsure of what God's plan had in store for me and I didn't really want to go far from home.

When Tim and I married, we started off married life with him in seminary and serving on a church staff as a youth minister. Life was chaotic, to say the least. We were overwhelmed between work, school, ministry and newlyweds. We always had events for kids and we always had kids in our home. We loved them. We wanted to teach them about God and how to have a relationship with Him and stand firm in their faith. However, this aspect of ministry is not why I am writing, I'll address it another blog. We were on staff though at my home church where I had grown up literally my whole life...24 years to be exact. I still was unsure of where and what God would do through us. I did know one thing, the thought of leaving my hometown, family and friends terrified me. So, I began to pray that God would change my heart and that I would be ready to go when He said it was time. I came across a Kyle Matthews song, "My Heart Knows" and I wrote the lyrics in the front of my bible. May sound strange to write a song in your bible, but these are the lyrics:

I've thought it through and I've decided,
I'm sure of you whatever happens to me,
whatever happens to me
and if you lead where there is no path,
no way out and no way back

I will go where I have to go
Give what I have to give
Face what I have to face
and I will live where I have to live
My heart knows where home is
My heart knows my home is you.

The road is rough, my courage leaves me
the way of love was never easy for you
and it won't be easy for me
but if you'll reach down from time to time
and let me feel your had in mine

I will go where I have to go
give what I have to give
face what I have to face
and I will live where I have to live
My heart knows where home is
My heart knows my home is you

Until my world is a distant start,
and all I have who is you are...

Chorus again.

Hit me pretty hard. This song became my prayer. It's the song meant for a minister and his wife. We go where God leads us and we face what we have to face, but we know where our home really is. It's where God is and He is with us wherever  He leads us.

After 5 years of being in my hometown (in Alabama), God called us to North Carolina. Tim was going to begin his 2nd masters at Duke University. I was ready to go The fears were gone. I knew God had great plans in store for us and I was ready to begin the next chapter in our lives. The hardest part about leaving was that my beloved grandmother was in the process of dying. It was incredibly hard to leave her. She passed away a week after we moved.  God sustained me and held me up through the transition and loss. I have loved every moment of our journey together here in North Carolina. We've been here for 6 years. My advice to those of you who worry about leaving home and loved ones behind, is to place your life and the ministry that you and your husband will have in God's hands. Allow Him to use you and He will give you peace. He will surround you with love and friendships. The plans He has for us are so amazing if we are obedient and follow. Don't hold back or you will miss the blessing.

Grace and Peace!

A Little Heaven on Earth

For several years now I have thought about doing a blog, but I have been hesitant to do so. Today, I took the plunge. As you can tell from the title, I am married to a minister. It truly is a calling, a challenge and a blessing. I am hoping that through this blog I will be able to encourage others wives of ministers and we can support each other through laughter, words of encouragement and prayer. It is a completely different world that can be isolating, demanding and rewarding. I hope that if you are new to this beautiful mess called ministry, you will not give up when times get tough. I hope I can offer some words of encouragement to you. If you have been in the ministry for a number of years or decades, then you are welcome to give me some words of wisdom!

My best advice to you is that you pray for your husband and that you encourage, love and support him. It's a hard and stressful job to carry the weight of 50-1,000's of people in a church and community. Your husband will have to prepare and deliver God's word week after week, walk through the valley of the shadow of death with those who lose loved ones, visit the sick and shut in, reach out to the lost and forgotten- he will end up wearing more hats than he ever signed up for and you will need to be your husband's best support. Love him, encourage him and create a safe haven of rest for him at home. Always remind yourself that what your husband is doing and what you are doing is for the kingdom. You might not see the results here on this side of eternity, but don't get discouraged.  God has a plan and you are part of it.

When it comes to you, serve where you are gifted and equipped and set your boundaries. If you don't set them early on you will lose yourself. Present yourself well, but don't worry if someone will think badly of you if you don't join the choir or sing solos. We are all different and we all bring something to the kingdom of God for ministry.

I'd love to write more, but I have a little one headed to soccer and one headed to dance. I hope to get to know some of you and I pray God's blessings on you and your husband's ministry. If God is for us, then who can stand against us?

Grace and Peace,
Rebecca

You Might Be a Minister's Wife If...

Well, what can I say except that being a minister's wife is ummm, like being in purgatory, can someone pray me out of it? Ooops, I meant it is a challenge. There are days that you want to laugh, cry, scream, run away or pull a curse word from your pocket. Today, I literally bit my tongue in half so I didn't say something I'd regret or get us canned!

I guess I should clarify my tone here, I'm being funny. Those of you, who know me, know I do standup on the side. If I couldn't laugh or joke about the craziness in my life, I would go nuts. I love being a minister's wife because I love my husband, I love serving alongside of him and I believe in God's message. Is ministry a challenge? You bet it is. It's an obstacle course with more hurdles than a road in Mississippi has potholes. Is it worth it? You bet it is. Showing people God's love and discipling them is worth every effort. Could anything be better than trying to bring God's kingdom on earth to His people? I don't think so.

Is being a minister's wife easy, you ask. Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no. After 11 years of being in the ministry, I have grown accustomed to most things ministry has to offer or throw my way. The initial shock of a lot of things has worn off. I was overwhelmed our first 5 years with what search committees actually asked me in a pastor's interview.No, I don't play the piano. No, I don't play the organ. No, I don't sing solos. No, I don't babysit pets. No, I don't do interpretive dance movements.  I was a disappointment to some of those who interviewed us. Over the years, I have become more comfortable with who I am as a minister's wife. I love people. I love children. I serve where God has gifted and equipped me. I make no apologies for what I can't be. I am what God has made me. I support my husband and encourage him to the best of my ability. I used to be afraid of what people thought about me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I care about how I present myself, everyone should, but I don't worry if someone thinks bad of me for not singing a solo. They really would think badly about me if I did. I pick my worries like some people pick battles.

One of the biggest challenges of ministry is time. A pastor is always on call and always needed. It is hard to draw boundaries especially when you are married to someone who can't say no. I handle this best by knowing that sharing Tim with others is kingdom work. This is an issue I will not talk about in length, unless you are a minister's wife. It's a  sensitive topic to be honest. I support Tim and the decisions he makes. God has called him to this ministry and I will always support and encourage him. I will also make sure my children understand what daddy does and why it's so important. They will support him too.

Ministry can also being isolating. Most church members, not all, are hesitant to be around the pastor and his family. Maybe they are afraid of what we will think of them or maybe they think we keep a list of who's naughty or nice, but truth be known, we know you're human, like us, and we enjoy your friendship. We don't keep lists, as long as you don't. Having said all that, there are those who are fearless and interact with us. Those people can testify that we don't bite or keep lists . We aren't perfect, almost, but not quite.(Can't you hear my laughter?)  Tim and I are humans like the rest of you. So please don't put us on a pedestal. I hate falling with everyone watching. It is so embarrassing. We strive to be the best God has called us to be and we strive to put into practice what we believe about Jesus Christ and His teachings. We love and minister to all people regardless of anything the world labels them as.

Why am I writing all this? I don't know. I think about the ministry a lot and I think about the couples and families that serve. I hold very dear in my heart God's ministry and bringing His kingdom to earth. I believe in putting it into action. I know it can be a challenge. But I also know it can be done. I hope my note hasn't offended anyone, especially our church members.  I love our church family and I am very grateful for the opportunity to serve you and alongside with you. I will always do my best in my role as the minister's wife. I will serve where I am needed and I will encourage, love and support your pastor, my husband, Tim.  May God work in your lives as we bring His kingdom to earth.

P.S. I don't keep curse words in my pocket. :)