When Tim and I met I knew he was going into the ministry. I think as a minister's wife, you feel that calling too from the Lord. You have to have your heart in it or it will be a long and miserable road for you. Now, I grew up in a small town and was close to my family. I never, ever thought as a child that I would leave my hometown. Naturally, as a daddy's girl, I thought I would grow up and live with my family. What little girl wants to leave her daddy? Well, time changed all of that as I grew up and fell in love. However, I still was unsure of what God's plan had in store for me and I didn't really want to go far from home.
When Tim and I married, we started off married life with him in seminary and serving on a church staff as a youth minister. Life was chaotic, to say the least. We were overwhelmed between work, school, ministry and newlyweds. We always had events for kids and we always had kids in our home. We loved them. We wanted to teach them about God and how to have a relationship with Him and stand firm in their faith. However, this aspect of ministry is not why I am writing, I'll address it another blog. We were on staff though at my home church where I had grown up literally my whole life...24 years to be exact. I still was unsure of where and what God would do through us. I did know one thing, the thought of leaving my hometown, family and friends terrified me. So, I began to pray that God would change my heart and that I would be ready to go when He said it was time. I came across a Kyle Matthews song, "My Heart Knows" and I wrote the lyrics in the front of my bible. May sound strange to write a song in your bible, but these are the lyrics:
I've thought it through and I've decided,
I'm sure of you whatever happens to me,
whatever happens to me
and if you lead where there is no path,
no way out and no way back
I will go where I have to go
Give what I have to give
Face what I have to face
and I will live where I have to live
My heart knows where home is
My heart knows my home is you.
The road is rough, my courage leaves me
the way of love was never easy for you
and it won't be easy for me
but if you'll reach down from time to time
and let me feel your had in mine
I will go where I have to go
give what I have to give
face what I have to face
and I will live where I have to live
My heart knows where home is
My heart knows my home is you
Until my world is a distant start,
and all I have who is you are...
Chorus again.
Hit me pretty hard. This song became my prayer. It's the song meant for a minister and his wife. We go where God leads us and we face what we have to face, but we know where our home really is. It's where God is and He is with us wherever He leads us.
After 5 years of being in my hometown (in Alabama), God called us to North Carolina. Tim was going to begin his 2nd masters at Duke University. I was ready to go The fears were gone. I knew God had great plans in store for us and I was ready to begin the next chapter in our lives. The hardest part about leaving was that my beloved grandmother was in the process of dying. It was incredibly hard to leave her. She passed away a week after we moved. God sustained me and held me up through the transition and loss. I have loved every moment of our journey together here in North Carolina. We've been here for 6 years. My advice to those of you who worry about leaving home and loved ones behind, is to place your life and the ministry that you and your husband will have in God's hands. Allow Him to use you and He will give you peace. He will surround you with love and friendships. The plans He has for us are so amazing if we are obedient and follow. Don't hold back or you will miss the blessing.
Grace and Peace!
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